Friday, November 24, 2006

Will the real Femdom please stand up !!!!


why am I annoyed ..how many real Dommes are there in the world? Not enough to go around would be my answer I can here all the sighs of the unattached subbie slave boys now !!

If you read any of the blogs that I linked too you will see there is an issue with missing blogs and request for validation of facts. I think in essence most of the problems occur due to the fact that on the net one cannot say for certainty, if in fact a person is being truthful or is living a fictitious life . But back to where I was heading with this post (dam my wandering dyslexic brain lol) One can never know the valididity of a poster on the internet you either believe them or you don't. if you enjoy reading their Blog and their points of interest stir you imagination, or wet your palate for more should it in fact... Matter!?!. if the Blog causes you to think of the possibilities of the lifestyles is it a bad thing ..yes I agree with the main posters on the blogs I frequent, its not nice to lied to or be lead astray but we have to learn to take it for what it is, a piece of writing, a flat one off view into a persons mind and views, not as a bible for how to run your life.
My reasons for posting this Blog (and for my site) is that every one should have a place to go and shouldn't be alone. The internet is a means for a safe place for so many, it gives us contact information, and to some a feeling of belonging. I do not post to tell people how do Femdom or how to run their life I do it because there was a time in my life I was alone in my kinks and didn't understand what direction I needed to follow to fulfill my desires, I felt alone and at one brief stage suicidal, thinking I was weird and that one no else had the same feelings I had.
So many on the blogger sphere try to tell newbie's and the committed to the lifestyle you must do this or that, this way in order to member of the Femdom Fan club. I have been on told numerous occasions, that because I don't pee in my slaves mouth I’m a Domme..that because I punish and correct bad behavior via pain I’m not in a LFA lead relationship...that because I have children I’m not living a 24/7 life style. because I don't make my boy’s wear a chastity device I’m not practicing D/s...who cares LOL why do I have to be compartmentalized why cant I just be me ?...my slave naked at feet ready to make me happy no matter what my decision him giving up his power and me taking it...a power exchange. isn't that what Femdom revolves around not who does what to whom and what manner. I don't blame a lot of the blogger's for disappearing or hiding when the answer they give are not the answers the reader wants to hear. or they are burnt out from the derivative thoughts and opinions. And its also no wonder why there are so many fakers. I get it now you have to fit the Femdom mould in order to belong. and after all doesn’t every one want to belong. thinking this way it makes it easy to see why so many fuel the fantasy driven Femdom fodder in blogger world...ok I’m having a bad day and maybe shouldn't post the above but damn it its my Blog, and I have a mood on, I could bite the head of off a rattle snake right about now..

WHY

Today I received a volley of unsolicited spam emails labeling me as a fake...a slut...a man hater...and the always present topic of being an abomination against God.. blah blah heard it all before come up with something new...the list is endless and that was only the subject lines I didn't even bother with the contents before applying pressure to the delete button this is the second email attack in less than a month and my site has been the subject of hacking (discovered thanks to Lady Julia) . Makes a Femdom just want to sit down and stop being counted and go back to being a regular (dominate) woman (in hiding) after all my private life would private ..my children wouldn't have a mother who is different from every day sports clothing wearing soccer mums (mom) my bedroom wouldn't look like something out of “Dungeon décor” and the money I spend on toys and lingerie could be better spent on kitchen appliances AND COOKING LESSONS (cough ok that’s to far LOL)...but you know what... I’d be miserable and *wink* I wouldn't be having my shoulders rubbed while I write this vent. (yummy)
How many woman start this journey only to be targeted when they become public? Or close there blogs/site to the pressure of having to ’out’ themselves all just so they can feel part of a community or connect with others. No don't worry the emails and virus haven’t put me off doing what I do its just triggered a train of thought. I’m constantly reading on blogs comments about this Domme or that Domme not being ‘real’ or doubting in fact if she is even a woman. Because we are so few and far between I guess maybe that’s why so many doubt the Blog/site writers motives and question there validity. Even after all the years I have been ’out’ I’m still questioned by subbies even though I use my real ’first’ name, have a pics on my Blog and site, have been viewed on web cam, had phone chats, run a free Femdom community site which costs me...I’m still doubted and abused if I reject a subbies advances or don't tell my every detail of my sex life.
There are so few ‘real’ Dominas (that are Ladies). we don't all want to use every subbie boy or slave for our own personal whims or desires. Just because we say no doesn't make us woman pretending to be Dominate it just means we don’t want YOU and we are happy with what we have, and you can take your ‘do me’ list to a Prodomme (no offense to Prodomme) Men like this give the real men that have real submissive traits a bad name its such a shame it just makes it so much harder for the sub/slave to find his soul mate domina
Thank you for the time to read this vent ..I feel better now LOL I’m off to tie up my Oz and not take out my frustrations on him. now I can act on my sexual desires like I want too.

Damn that was a rambling mess but I’m going to hit the post button any way and hope it all makes sense...I needed to vent and vent I have LOL



Ohhh just remembered and this might be a perfect place to put this link.
Femdom romance

A GREAT Blog that I recommend for submissive men trying to find a Domme. It is run by Richard and his beloved Alexandra it contains hints and tips on how to inter act with Dommes plus many more interesting topics for those interested in a loving Femdom relationship…
Plus I would just like to say huge WELL DONE & THANK YOU to you Richard and Alexander for the time, love, care and attention you pay to the (all) kink communities... all your sites and blogs are well constructed, informative, very well written and most of all free you both are a great asset to the community and don't get enough credit for what you do.




9 comments:

oldbear said...

Hi Bonnie, thak yo so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

I feel bad others are attacking you, just as I felt bad when I found out a stalker had tried to hurt and terorize you.

I dislike the idea of you being challenged and hurt by people who may well have put their efforts into MIS-understanding you and MIS-liking you instead of repsecting your unique style and contributions.

As one who was once somewhat suicidal over his suppressed desires I can totally relate to your journey to get to be the dominant and loving force you are today. But ai am sure yor path was much harder and more abusive than mine, which was merely repressed and emotionally abused.

I will post or email more later lady, I am too pissed and overwraught emotionally to go on!

Suffice it to to say, I consider myself Loving and respectable and your soul bother in non-conformity!

Yor pal and fan, OB.

jssubc said...

All that frustration to be taken out on oz, i'm not sure whether to feel sorry for him or be happy for him. *grins*
As to the attacks that You have been getting well there really isnt much that can be said, but for what it's worth, tomorrow You will still be a Domme and they will still be an idiot.
Please keep doing what You do so well.

*BB* said...

when I first came out as dominant to myself a few years ago I got jumped on as just another HNG or lost young woman by many people online and got burnt. It took me several years after that to admit to myself again what I am and to be proud of it.

I have been told I don't sound very dommeish because I do things a certain way but frankly I am what I am and I know that as long as I am true to me their opinion of what they think I should be doesnt mean shit to me. So many people in the lifestlye think their way is right and only their way. They are entitled to believe what they want but I am not going to be swept up in their dramas.

There is not just kinky or vanilla, theres so many levels we can choose to explore and live on. Just as long as you're true to yourself.

MissBonnie said...

Oldbear...
Thank you you are such a sweet heart, things have settled down now, LOL and so have I. Nothing has changed in me I'm VERY proud of being a Dominate woman and I won't let it all get me heated like that ever again.

jssubc...
Oz lived to sub another day !!! he might regret the wise crack about me being the daughter of the devil himself LOL but he lived
and yes they are idiots.

Lady Stephanie...
Thank you your words rang true in my ears
(quote) I am what I am and I know that as long as I am true to me their opinion of what they think I should be doesn't mean shit to me.

you'd think after all this time I'd be used to it, but that day it just got the better of me and I need to vent.


thank you all so much for the comments its people like you (all) that make it worth the effort to blog and do the site.

VeezKnight said...

All we can do is to accept and learn to feel good about ourselves as individuals. If that includes FemDom, then so be it. I had never been involved in this lifestyle outside of my marriage so I can't comment on that aspect. But being submissive to a loving woman who is my wife and domme, I CAN say that I have never been happier or felt more fulfilled. Were more couples to adopt FemDom (to whatever degree that works for them). I think there would be many more happy marriages out there. As for those who feel the need to write offensive emails and comments on blogs, I also believe that deep down they are envious of us and wish they could live as we do. Why else would they be reading FemDom blogs?

MissBonnie said...

Veezknight...
Thank you for the comment..yes thats always interested me..why read a Femdom based site if your not remotely interested ?
and yes I do agree in a relationship I find the ones that work, what ever the sexual orientation, Always seem to have a Dominate in charge.

Anonymous said...

what are the pictures near your St Andrews cross ? are they prints or drawings ?
CBTPETE

Anonymous said...

(Tried to do this earlier but blogger wouldn't show me the verification word.)

Pity these power characters don't understand there's no contradiction between having power over someone and being kind and gentle (and cruel on those special evenings). The worst is that is stops some women from sharing their feelings with us.

Many thanks for the link to Femdom Romance and the kind words.

Anonymous said...

new "Femdoms" pop up daily. I can't even keep up with who is who anymore so I stopped bothering.